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Poem

i feel the panic
a calm generic
synthetic
collect it
pop the tab just take it
i hate it
i hate who made it
my heart
it's shrinking
my brain starts thinking
about tragedy
complaints
i'll stand in line for days
just to wait
it's fate, collective
predictible
a hole i drill
a job a thrill
i dig and dig
deep and big
i feel the dread
all around 
and in my head
roll around can't sleep in bed
down on red
down on red
try to quit
to give a spit to cry
but lit
a cigarette 
and smoked with 
long drags of regret
 that for some reason
could not feel but rationalize
and think about my 
jealous eyes
my size, fall to rise
hail a cab and wave goodbye
and all the things i could have been
and all the people
i called my friends
and all the roads 
that have to end
and all the rules
that wind and bend
break and mend
as i depend
down on red 
down on red
a mystery
answer in front of me
but dig and dig
without the meek
or kind, one bit of mercy
for a clue to rage
flee from its cage
and into my
fickle fascination
forced foreplay
live to live another day
to say
every word residing
in my head
down on red
down on red

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