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I took you for your final walk On that crisp and sunny day The blanket round your shoulders To keep the chill at bay We didn't talk the way we should I filled the gaps with platitudes Those precious moments lost To a pain that I eschewed I didn't want to let you go And I could not conceive That love could hurt so very much As it prepared to take its leave In the hospice garden, so manicured and neat My language and vocabulary Seemed weak and obsolete In the days that followed You raised your hand to greet The friends that came to visit When you could barely speak On my first day at school. I held that hand so tight you walked me to the playground And made everything alright I watched your fast decline As the cancer took a hold I saw your nighttime sweats And I felt your hands turn cold And at nights when I got home My grief went "supersonic" As I rocked in anguished pain Fuelled by loss and gin and tonic You just wanted to get home I saw the ambulance arrive I watched them wheel you out And you seemed barely alive I thought it callous, cruel To move you in that state But when you lay in your own bed Your fears seemed to dissipate We all knew that you would leave In a day or maybe two So the family gathered round To say goodbye to you And time seemed to lose dominion As those final hours passed by Your eyes no longer opened your lips looked cracked and dry And on that final night We all gathered round your bed All those that really loved you Came to say what must be said But sleep lay heavy on us all In the early morning hours And since you seemed to stabilise We succumbed to slumber's powers My brother and I stayed close, Keeping vigil by your side As you had always stood by us As our father and our guide Your breathing seemed to falter Now intermittent, soft and slow, So I held your hand and whispered "Dad, it's ok for you to go..." I woke the family from their sleep We all began to pray, Anguished faces round your bed When you gently slipped away. I thought I had prepared myself But grief engulfed me like the tide That swamps the little rock pools In that moment when you died Love forged the links that bind Which death will not wrench asunder Memories mass like treasures Which times passage will not plunder Our souls are intertwined I the sapling, you the tree. I will always be a part of you, And you a part of me.
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