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I wish I could chase away the monsters in your recurring nightmare to make you feel safe, showing you that your mom will always care. I want to help you conquer those demons in your head; drying the tears we both often shed knowing that your pain is so real and you can’t control the way you feel. You react to life in such extreme ways, yelling and cursing in anger on your bad days. Then you’re a loving big brother and son on good days when you’re hopeful and having fun. My heart hurts when you speak of your pain telling me how constantly thoughts consume your brain to the point you can’t sleep at night leaving you so tired, frustrated and uptight. Mental illness, schizophrenia, bipolar, depression, whatever you call it; it’s no joke, it affects the whole family, all of us it does hit. People thinking it’s just an act are just ignorant to the fact that mental illness is a disease a person’s life and wellbeing it will seize. I’m so sorry my dear and first born son because to you this illness was passed on. I never wanted any of my kids to endure such emotional pain. How I wish that you could feel happy, “normal” and sane. I pray for you each and every day asking God to take the mental illness away. I believe with all my heart that our Lord will heal you. Keep the faith and know that He will make your dreams come true. Don’t give up, keep up the fight happiness is your God given right. Refuse to allow anyone or anything to steal your joy nor your dreams and your future to destroy. Engrave in your heart and mind that your destiny will be bright as long as you believe and fight this disease with all your might.
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