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Distorted

My face is distorted
Is my real face even showing?
I don't know if I'm experiencing my true feelings
My love is true is yours?
I demand you and you shut the door in my face repeatedly 
We have many years together and yet we have nothing

Our children see the real you 
The real person I  have seen since day one
I can't believe you let your love for society get in the way of my innocents
How dare you? 
I have to be everything to them and it's not fair to them 
They will grow up knowing I was the only consistency in their wee lives

Where is the outline for me?
Do you hear my screams? What about the silent ones?
I go without so much because my wee little ones need more than I 
What do you go without?

I look in the mirror at myself
Who is looking back at me?
Is this really me? Is this really my life? 

I stood by you through so much
The things you did the things you said to me
You have hurt me like no other has and yet I'm still here are you?
Emotionally I'm not here, My heart stays here, But I can't figure out where my mind is
Or where it all belongs? 
I'm so torn, so broken, so numb 
I guess I'm just going to be distorted for the rest of my time with you
I promised I would love you through everything and I have but where is the outline?

I don't see the real me and haven't in a long time thanks to you
I don't even do my hobbies anymore I just sit and watch the world as I call life pass by
Why do you want our wee little innocents to see this? what would posses you to?
If I broke my promise would I be submitted to the pits for enternity? 
I gained so much and yet I lost more much 
You hurt me with life itself and nothing but fear 
Can you honestly tell me what have you lost you entire life?

It feels like a band-aid  that I just can't take off no matter how I rip it off
Do I wear a mask over me? Does anyone see the real me anymore?
I hurt so much with you but yet I loved you for so long 
I can't accept your I'm sorry pity excuses anymore 
Is my face nothing to you? Does it mean nothing to you?

My heart feels so much anger, depression, emotions of not being wanted
Do you or have you ever felt this way?
I don't know what to believe in anymore
I feel like paper and I'm being torn into a million pieces 
Or what if you are putting me through a paper shredder?
Is the real me even showing?
I'm distorted
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