Email Poem

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Poem
so ways i wish people could see why i write what i do 
see what i see 
or even feel what has been felt 
would you all really judge how i act would you really hurt me like you all have
i know everyone has it rough but does that mean you put me down for handling it the way i do
if anything you push me farther and to my breaking point
you should see the damage you have done 
see the pain you put me thro 
realize that maybe just maybe somethings truly wrong instead of assuming i just want attention
maybe my mind is a bit unstable 
and maybe my heart isn't as strong as it once was but that doesn't make me any different
so why hold all this against me 
why make things worse
why be the reason someone decides to give up
showing you whats going through my heart and whats ripping at my mind is my way of showing you i truly am broken 
you say there's no fixing it but do you really even wanna try
do you really find me worth all the troubles
when you said i love you was it all some big joke 
was it a way of filling some crappy void in your life
if i was to disappear you could care less if i were to die would you even be sad 
knowing that your love was all fake doesn't make it easier to forget it makes it harder to realize my own ignorance
you knew how hurt i was when you first came into my life but you didn't care you found your source of amusement and you didn't care if it killed me 
well in a way i am dead, dead inside 
nothing moves no tears are cried
a beat less heart a shallow soul 
i guess dying really isnt that easy 
but neither is watching someone rip you apart 
its kinda the same in some ways i think dying would be better 
nothing to live for 
no strings holding you to this pathetic thing called life
no words could hurt you
no dreams to be crushed 
but why is it bad always happens to someone so good so pure
why does everything have to go wrong why cant something just go right for once
i know this sounds bad and it may sound like a plea for death but its a way of dealing with fear dealing with mixed emotions
dealing with what i guess wasnt meant to be 
its hard to shake off what people are saying we all know that by now
the love people once held never lasts or it never will be found
emotions are meant to be hidden because no one truly wants to be the burden on someone life
or to feel like they aint worth anything i guess this is a way of crying out for help
a way of saying please save me please just please be the one that makes it ok 
be the one that numbs pain
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