Email Poem

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Poem
I’d like to believe so....
I’d like to believe I’m happy
I’d like to believe I have good friends
And I’d like to believe they're all drifting away.. future tense
Tired of swallowing peoples nonsense 
Choking on their lies
Throwing up my anger
All I can do is smile sleep slay
Satisfied to my own surprise

Afraid of getting hurt 
Different time same reason
Felt like I had nowhere to go
I ran to it
I embraced it
I missed it?
Yea, my mom teacher and friend was called treason

It’s so different when you’re alone 
Going places in your head 
smelling your way back to where you bled
It’s outlandish
It’s random
It’s startling
And its different every time
One day your game will begin
Then u can decide if u like it 

It’s taking me forever to fill out life’s stupid blank
I can never tell what I really want 
But like a character in a movie I believe someone is writing my role
Tears.....come back again some other day
I want to learn from them
can’t do that away from them
For if you wanna watch, you're gonna have to stay

I’d like to believe I took the right turn
3rd of November don’t hate me for you might be the worst day of my life
I’d like to believe I am strong enough 
...but I’ll let it pass

Aloofness
He fell for it 
They all did
And didn’t see that coming
Some say I’m just confused and I’m going to regret it
Some say loneliness is iffy Hayfa don’t fall for it 
I drew smiles on others faces
I’m sorry I can’t care
I’d like to believe it’s because I love him..
Ima take a risk 
And if end up happy I would smile
And if not, I will not break.

I couldn’t let anyone else in
I don’t think I even tried
Got attached to my escape
Words.....
Didn’t wanna get hurt
someone I cherish once told me it’s going to be worth it
And here I am 
Hating on you for losing me
but I have myself to blame now
Scared of being by myself....
Yet scared of being with you
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