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Personal Note:

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Poem

I can’t explain why I felt what I felt, 
At that very moment in time.
What made my heart crackle, shatter, and break.
Why in that instant I felt utterly and completely consumed with sadness,
There is no logical reasoning for letting something so small, 
Hurt me in such a huge, and profound way.
I hate you for making me feel that way,
I hate myself more for letting you make me feel that way.
Hate that I still can feel sadness because of you, 
As if you haven’t hurt me enough before, 
You still hurt me after, without even knowing it.
Without me even realizing it will hurt me.

Oh, what bliss I could feel if I could just let it stop hurting me,
If I could only shut that door in my heart, 
And leave it locked, throw away the key.
There is no reason for anyone to be in there,
No good reason the door should ever be unlocked.
If only my brain could do what is right for my heart and shut it out.
Take over the heart, make it stop feeling,
Make it stop double beating when there is excitement,
Make it stop bleeding with pain,
Agonizing pain, stop.
Stop now.

Give me strength to leave it behind, 
Give me strength to shut the door,
Give me strength to keep it locked.

A tear won’t be shed for you,
The only tears that shall fall from these broken tired eyes, 
Shall be the tears of happiness for someone deserving of those tears.
Someone grateful enough they would bottle them up and cherish them forever.
Like a precious gem.
My tears are precious gems.
Hard to get, 
Unforgettable,
And almost always deserving.

Not for you.
You are not deserving of my tears, 
Nor any part of my heart.

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