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~Echoes Of The Heart.~ Yesterday she was carrying a void felt deep in her heart its echo was begging someone to fill her needs to be free to love & venture through society accept to socialize allow her heart to search for a different attitude towards life to fill her emptiness. Its so hard to keep up with those changes of feelings without finding solutions. She prayed her consciousness to stop listening to voices of loneliness. Fear obliged her soul to escape from being locked in an arena with lions to mutilate her spirit due to feebleness. She wept why she could not fly like a bird to the sky and land on the sand stand and wave to thee unknown ask to be rescued . She wished anyone could send a feather with the wind towards her hearts echo, as a whisper of connecting. The more time passed the more her heart felt deserted, she couldn't walk as her feet were stuck in the cement. The void was getting stronger she doesn't know why, maybe if she rings a bell someone will come looking for her, she doesn't want to know anymore why she feels confused in her own battle of survival. Nobody knows why the echo inside her heart was far from listening, refusing to respond to the same philosophy she had a few years ago, she was strong, accepting, walking, breathing normal, but what is normal, she seems to be very far away from changing to normal, she wants to give up fighting and drown with all her feelings only to surface when she understands and becomes normal. Maybe the winter cold and snow are all over her body she must be frozen as her breathing is waiting for a sign to pump some air into her lungs, she tried but when she looked outside it was so somber, her emotions begged to stop thinking, only exist for the moment. When the night will surround her darkness she will be born again to fill her own aloneness, she writes poetry and reads books, she shares her thoughts with her own thoughts, and wonder how sad just to survive because one has to, today her wish is to let go and trigger her feelings to take an ugly turn by vanishing without even leaving a note why? She needed desperately to listen to the echos emerging from her heart telling her what to do, she will wait. Because her wishes could not find someone to love and breath the same air at that advanced age, that was the reason why existing was not worth it anymore, she was ready to let go of her spirit and soul, suddenly her hearts echo grew louder forbidding her not to run towards her night table where she had all her medications, but reach out to God befriend Him and sleep with the thought of waking up for another tomorrow to remain alive and stay in love. Tonight her echo was urging her to chatter with her thoughts and listen to her echo echoing that her lover of 43 years will come back, do not panic, he left to explore his own path and listen to his own echo while flying away for an intermission to feel what his heart wants him to do. You must desire the same energy that your hearts echoes fly together towards your doorsteps and place that outstanding red rose a sign of love for your tomorrows. Knowing your love is & was an everlasting love time Is your witness, wait for him, he will be back. Therese Bacha 20/3/2013
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