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to be a single woman in america & aging to boot, one must have breasts that sing to the air (that never fall, that never sag, that never do anything but what the magazines show on their covers). to be a single woman in america & aging, one must have an ass that is firm (never dropping, never getting too big, never getting too small, always looking perfect in the tightest of clothes, never doing a thing but what the magazine covers say). to be a single woman in america & aging, one must have lips so lush that they make one dream of the juiciest fruits---they must have eyes that sparkle like the sky or make one dream of the deepest seas, all out of obligation to whatever the magazine covers say. to be a single male in america & aging to boot, one must have pockets that jingle, that are flush with cash, that hold a checkbook that never runs out of checks---one must have a bank account that makes Fort Knox look like a Pez dispenser, so that they can make it rain in the driest of places, abiding by what all the magazines say. to be a single male in america & aging, one must have property, one must have assets, one must have a house in a different area code gaining rental money, an apartment in a tropical area, a mansion in the hills & a place to “get away” from everything else, hidden in an undisclosed location--- just like the television reveals, just like all the playas in the videos & the movies. to be a single male in america & aging, one must have a full head of bustling hair, abs that one can scrub wet clothes on to get off the dirt (or that can help whittle down wood when one can’t find a knife), one must have a gluts that can have quarters flipped off them & biceps that can wrap around & crush like the strongest python (bench twice your weight, jump high, run fast, squat squat squat & save the goddamn world)--- just like on the big screen.
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