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I loved her so much, at least for awhile
We were engaged to get married one day
Our hearts were as one, as forever whole
I wanted to be her husband, to stay

But one day, when everyone else was gone
We thought we would just kiss and fool around
I, one, wanted to wait until marriage
To make love, I was surely heaven bound

She had other plans, we kissed for awhile
Clothes came off, I wasn’t comfortable
Then she grabbed me, she was stronger than me
I pulled, but her strength, I wasn’t able

I tried to get away, to run on out
I didn’t like what’s going to happen
She really beat me up with her fists
Bleeding and bruised she had used her weapon

She threw me down onto the bed quite hard
And started to perform acts of horror
I tried to get lose but her knee’s on me
I was feeling weird, I saw great terror

Then I was pained, unwantedly ready
I felt her on me, as my eyes were shut
Then it happened, I was deep inside her
And I cried, didn’t want to feel my gut

As she’s performing the unspeakable
I’m still crying with each terrible stroke
I wanted her dead, terror in my head
I feel my innocence lost, my love...broke

When she was finished, she did one last thing
My seed exploded and she yelped with glee
I hated her now, she did laugh at me
I couldn’t move right then, I couldn’t see

She got dressed and I heard her leave the house
I hated her for what she did to me
Pain was with me, I hurt more in my soul
I got up, got dressed, and tried to empty

To rid of my thoughts would take many years
I never told anyone for decades
But now it’s over and gone I can share
It helps my soul to display these old shades

Russell Sivey

Entrant into Gail Angel Doyle's "Scars Left Behind" contest

1/30/2013

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