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"A Beautiful Ending."

I have searched through the depth of my soul and 
never regretted standing alone under the torrential
storm that day awaiting the approach of the ferry 
to anchor i felt the need to be hugged by my man
to forgive me as I had a confession I was going to 
heal & feel that i am not alone and had to finish 
what i had started.

Hours Later the ferry arrived empty lifeless with only
The scent of his soul . 

My story is about wounds that would have lasted forever 
or even a life time as for years I was abused a failure weak
Ugly I had no friends I had no respect from anyone when 
awake I was haunted by my own image my bed that I never 
left day or night became my only love. 

I wanted everything around me to stop come to a complete halt! 
I did not want to hear a door bell ring or smell flowers or watch 
the birds fly or wait for winter summer spring or fall.
 
Voices irritated my mechanism music around me was heard like
The moaning of a mother over the loss of her child drowning for 
me was better than surfacing thunder made me scream lighting 
made me run hide in the closet dripping of the rain became like 
drums in my ears. 

That same moment how I wished i could migrate never
Look back but keep moving moving until I discover
My peaceful river sit and gain my strength survive to
Live through spring while listening to natures rhythm, 
And pray for the winter winds to wipe away my fears even 
Through my loneliness enable me to breath that sigh of
relief. 

I had regrets when I became fully aware how much
I have been selfish thinking only of myself as never 
did my man complain when i looked into his eyes 
i saw how much pain he was going through that was 
one of those days that made me definitely decide to 
seek professional help before its too late. 

I needed to stop! stop! now! rediscover my identity 
To love life to listen to the showers water running like 
a river people laughing radio news people crying people 
dressed others undressed work buses full schools young 
students life is ahead of them cars with one passenger 
or more trains people inside reading their newspaper 
parks full of life running nowhere just running dogs happy 
being out of there indoor prison playing with their masters 
cats meowing for a friend calling a companion an alarm clock 
ticking a wake up call business men and women running to 
work all of  sudden i created a picture that is alive, and i am 
looking forward to be included, i will, i am, i will tell him 
and i will change.
I love the scent of my mans soul and reached 
out for his forgiveness. 



                                     Terry. 16/1/2013
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