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DARK ARE MY DAYS

My thoughts become perforated with pin prick holes, exuding darkness.
Darkness sucking some of the light, the life from my memories,
from my experiences - in doing so they rob me of the last vestiges
of any hope that your light will continue to shine on me, 
continue to provide nourishment's to this life, 
give reason to get beyond this season. 

I fear that you will extinguish the light forever more, 
and I will wither away behind that darkened door, 
become dust on the silent winds of your soundless voice,
particles of, carried away on the remnants of your lovely light,
as it travels light years from, and out of my sight. 
In this, I am left empty and without any choice . 

I have this great urge to plug those black holes,
hope that all will come back, ( that radiant, beautiful light ,
light that harbored my heart, my soul, my spirit
in it's loving embrace ) even if love was not a part of, 
it's light, it's life's blood nor a part of it's essence. 
The heart, the mind know, yet the heart, the mind can not control.

You are the artist, your soul the palette, your spirit the paint, 
paint that coloured all the scenes lived upon me, me the canvas,
a canvas that displayed all the images created by your imagination 
and my ability to bring to life, your creations.
I want to be the expediter of all your precious dreams,
dreams that would never include me, it seems. 

I look into the mirrors, reflectors of our history, see you,
you the artist, finished with your master piece, 
-that illusion of mind, the deluding of my heart -
time to move on and do what you will do. 
For my heart, my soul, my spirit there is no peace,
and the realization, for me, there will be no new start. 

What is left ?, are my tears, tear drops from the pain
of heart ache, of loss, tear drops trying to wash away 
the images, the colors, the memories etched across this canvas.
Efforts in futility !, for all there is, are streaks, staining the face, 
of your paintings, the surface of me, me the canvas,
a canvas, upon your wall, has no place ? 

B. J. "A" 2
APRIL 2nd 2011
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