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This raggedy pew has, I’m sure, seen many breakdowns and pleas. I grip it with both hands and stare at the stained red plush carpet under my worn converse, something that aren't exactly acceptable at funerals, but dad would have understood. He knew I needed new shoes and was going to take me to get some next week. This whole church reeks of fermaladye and salt it makes my stomach twist and turn sour. The man next to me definitely tried putting on enough after shave to wake the dead because he sure made last nights dinner jump up from my gut. The dark blue open casket doesn't fit in at this place, our family never has. It's just a boy colored  abyss  in the middle of something so sterile and overly holy. The crazy lady with the balloon belly and bird nest blond hair runs up to the giant box and throws herself over the poor mans body and I can see the infant inside her is clawing at the skin, it's gross how life develops.  Her muumuu painted with blue flowers hangs just a inch off the floor and shows off her plastic Walmart flip flops. She lets out screams and cries that sound like an injured cat that  are another embarrassment added to the list of her wrongdoings.  I wish she would just go back to her trailer in the woods where she belongs and get rid of that monster in her, surprisingly enough that it's still alive with all that booze and pills she throws back. We would all be better off if she napped and never woke. The old lady in front of me with the huge black hat with the old movie style veil shakes her head at the sight of this because she knows this is no time to be overcome with fake love and shouldn’t even have been allowed to show her face. The lawyers will hopefully see right through her act and place her in cell block C. Her tears full of pink eye shadow soak the dead man's suit and she digs her thick, false nails into the swollen, cold flesh of his chest. She has no right to be touching him, someone else knows this and gets up and pulls her away with such force. It's about time someone put her in her place, while they're at it they should put some duct tape on her mouth and shove her into a trunk and leave her there. As everyone starts to walk out on the man they once loved I see not many are crying. Uncle Leroy asks  if anyone has anything else to say, nobody did, so he got down from the podium and left with his children and wife.  No one is left in the room after five  minutes so it's my turn now, to step up and say goodbye...
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