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726 Days

726 days
726 days until I’m gone
Like a Leaf from a tree 
Or a bird from a nest
I’ll be leaving home
Moving on from the past

I’ll be moving on from the moving
From one house to another
From week to week 
Or month to month
From a life I created 
Only to move and create again
From packing and unpacking 
And finally just leaving things
In a box
From wondering when
The next move is

726 days 
I’ll be moving from not having
Anyone to talk to 
For the first fourteen years of my life
From not having a true friend
Or someone’s shoulder to lean on
From not having
Not knowing 
What family truly is 
From the cold un-functional life
I have lived for fourteen years 
Until I finally saw
The truth

I’ll be moving from all the bruises 
Ones that have covered 
My arms, my shoulders 
My legs and my back
From all the hand marks
That has landed on my face
And the scares on my heart
From the wounds deep inside 
From being told
How useless and horrid I am 
To see, and the shame
I remind them of 
Being said I was a mistake 
One that should be forgotten
From being told I will become 
Nothing and believing it all 

726 days 
Until I will be leaving the ones 
Who bring up memories
I would soon like to have left alone
From being reminded and reliving the experience 
Through my nightmares
Nightmares where I see the evil in there eyes 
The horrible smell of their breath
The press of their weight on me
My tears running down my face 
Their fingers 
And their bodies 
Tearing my insides apart
Violating me 
As no child should ever be violated 
Over, and over again like its happening again

I’ll be moving from two little kids
Who I have raised 
Who I have taken care of 
Feeding and protecting them 
And although I may miss them
I will be letting
Them making their own decision
Whether to stay 
Or come with me 

726 days 
Until I leave that life
And walk into another
Where I can finally settle in 
With a friend 
Who has showed me true friendship
Who has listened and helped me 
With my past 
Who has reserved judgment 
And shown only kindness and friendship 
To move in with her family
With open arms and a smile on their faces
Time and time again 
And treated me like their own 
Who has shown me what family is 
Who I can never tell how grateful I am 
No matter how I try 

I’ll be moving in 
726 days…..
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