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The Heart Attack Grill

By Elton Camp

(Incredibly, all of this is true.)

Deceptive advertising nobody can claim
Take a look at this Las Vegas café’s name

Sign at the door gives customers warning fair
That it’s bad for your health to eat in there

Fake medical titles are given employees of the place
Servers are “nurses” & “doctor” the owner does embrace

On a conspicuous sign put out for everyone to see
People who weight over 350 pounds eat there free

Two customers have had attack while eating there
Which isn’t surprising if you consider the café’s fare

Flatliner fries, bypass burgers and butterfat milkshake
Are among the very unhealthy choices diners can make

The restaurant has been in operation now for seven years
Death of its 600-pound spokesman should’ve raised fears

In two months, two customers have collapsed while eating
Perhaps they didn’t believe the warning sign’s greeting

The grill’s spokesman died when he was just twenty-nine
The two customers survived and didn’t really flatline 

As a spot to eat, Heart Attack Grill I don’t highly rate
To be eating there might seem like one is tempting fate

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