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Mr. Butcher, the undertaker, did a capital job of laying old Cheatum out,
Though he had to cram him in the casket since the senator was rather stout!
During the viewing, folks marveled at Mortician Butcher's cosmetic skill,
Especially the work on his bulbous nose, purpled by the booze he used to swill!

At the funeral, the preacher asked if anyone cared to eulogize the late departed.
The stone-faced congregation remained mute - no kind words were imparted!
This came as no surprise to the reverend who struggled to say something nice,
Something tactful and meaningful for the old galoot's bourne to Paradise!

His stoic widow sat staring ahead under the glaring gaze of the congregation.
She wore rubies, diamonds and emeralds looking like a queen at coronation!
Cheatum somehow always managed in his annual congressional appropriation,
To divert funds for his aggrandizement, further tainting his soiled reputation!

He was transported to Glorious Sunrise Cemetery in a horse-drawn hearse.
Folks thought that appropriate since they knew him to be a horse's reverse!
The reverend intoned an appropriate prayer as he was lowered in the ground.
There was nary a teary-eyed constituent of old Cheatum to be found!

On a nearby grassy knoll stood the gravediggers Arnold, Cletus and Dave,
Leaning on their shovels sipping Old Milwaukee waiting to close the grave.
Cletus having a way with words said, "I feel like throwin' rocks at the hearse!
Good Lord a-mighty! Can that new guy, Senator Swindler be any worse!"

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
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