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Personal Note:
Poem Title:
Poem
3
times
in
4 
years &
1 of those times brought on the little boy whom she spends most of her time taking care of these days
(that is, after all, the reason her man married her---for her child rearing capability)
and she thinks this second sexless marriage
brings with it the security that the first marriage did not
(first guy & her went at it like bunnies until he started finding other bunnies as well)---
the making of constant whoopee that came with the first guy
is secretly missed,
even if she wasn’t the only one that had been tickling his pickle---
still, it is hard to ignore the long stretches of time that her “faithful” husband is gone
with his phone turned off,
or just left on the kitchen table, as if he had been out of the house in an awful rush &
when the baby is asleep &
she’s masturbating alone
(well, she still has “jesus,” right?---that strapping young fictional character),
she wonders just what she did 
for “god” to condemn her in such a way,
as certainly this choice was hers alone,
but everyone that raised her told her that if she followed the ways of the bible,
that if she didn’t cheat on her husband &
that if she was a good wife,
then things would be ok for her---that “god” would provide---
but would “god” provide her orgasms?

she knows that if she even so much as asks where her husband has been
that said good christian man will make her wish that she hadn’t &
that is why she doesn’t---
instead, she just moans alone by the grace of “god,” until she gets off &
then feels guilty about having had any pleasure at all---
she knows that when the next time rolls around that the family goes to church,
that she will look good playing the roll of the dutiful wife,
wound tight in her gingham dress & smiling at her husband 
who is smiling at some other church whore---
all the time pent up & about to explode from such relentless sexual
craving, wondering if she’ll ever have sex again,
telling her close friends that she doesn’t even think about it much, 
that her hands are full with the baby---
putting on the best show of her life, daily,
she obviously missed her true calling in life---
she would’ve made a great actress.
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