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The Automated Answering Service

By Elton Camp

What I used to be able to do, now I can’t
If I called and got a person, think I’d faint

This voice gives a list of number to punch
And it’s not just a few, but a big bunch

When I finally guess at which one to pick
It always bring the very same inane trick

All agents are busy with others to help
Whenever I hear that, I just want to yelp

Please hold as we answer in the order received
That’s something that’s really hard to be believed

Repeatedly I hear the recording of some ornery cuss
“Please keep on holding. Your call is important to us.”

If that were true, then more agents they would hire
Even if a few of their vice presidents they had to fire

In view of how long completion of those calls can take
I wonder if the Guinness Book they are trying to make

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