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I'm alone in a crowded room
 Mentally in a world of darkness
 Consumed by sadness
 Living a life of loneliness.
 Why was I chosen?
 What did you see in me?
 I loved you and trusted you.
 My innocence stolen
 My youth violated
 My childhood taken
 My mind confused
 As your hands discovered places
 I never knew I had
 As your lips opened mine
 To seek the warmth within
 My body betrays me
 What is this feeling?
 It feels good and it feels wrong.
 My silence is loud
 My tears are quietly unshed
 I am trapped in a deep abyss
 With no certain way out
 My voice screams
 And no one hears me
 My subliminal messages are powerful
 But no one feels them.
 I can't sleep at night
 My body is too alert
 Waiting for him to come in
 Touch me all over, do his dirt.
 This man of God
 HALLELUJAH, AMEN!
 Becomes the spawn of Satan
 Be careful, beware!
 Night cloaks his perverted actions
 And as the sun arises
 He's holy again.
 I began to hate this Jekyll and Hyde
 They become one.
 Good and bad
 Bad and good...
 The lines are unclear.
 My posture slumps,
 Clothes are oversized
 Trying to hide the woman I was becoming
 Maybe he would overlook me
 If he couldn't see
 The obvious
 The overt
 The ostentatious
 But for 2 years
 It did not work
 And I was left alone,
 My voice unheard
 My pain not seen.
 Writing, my therapy
 Diaries, my friends
 Dreams become nightmares
 Shadows move in the night
 They come to me
 Fondling my prepubescent ******
 Kneading my undeveloped breasts.
 The silence is deafening.
 I want the morning to come
 My tears began to flow
 Along the side of the face
 And I look down at myself
 With the sadness of self-pity
 And wonder night after night
 After night after night after night
 Why me?
 Why did you hurt me?
 You were my daddy,
 Even though you weren't
 I loved you as the dad
 I never had.
 Your temporary pleasure
 Is my permanent torture
 And the distrust I have
 For all things male
 Certainly began with you,
 Congratulations, take a bow.
 Thank you for raping my innocence.
 Thank you for abusing my childhood.
 Thank you for tainting my spirit.
 Thank you for corrupting my womanhood.
 Thank you and God bless your perverted soul.
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