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Fathers Day

He began throwing me around I remember it quite well 
Against a hard wall but he told people I fell 
When all the abuse began I think I was barely five 
By the time I was 18 I hated to be alive

The first memory of my step dad is when I called him by name 
I already had a dad so calling him dad wasn't the same 
I went up to hug him something me and my real dad had done 
He told me "never to hug him real men don't hug son"

Sometimes he would hit me with his belt or a hand 
I was being beaten so harshly by a very big man 
I counted over 50 smacks with the belt the bruises you could see 
But there was no one out there willing to help a child like me

He would scream at me for hours sometimes it wasn't quite fair 
Then he would get mad at me more because I had a blank stare 
Nothing I did was ever good enough for this man 
Simple things like coloring, or speaking, or cleaning a pan

I was scared for my life because I knew when he got home 
I was going to be hit or yelled at with a very loud tone 
This man was a dictator you almost had to ask him to breathe 
But I was only 7 years old and he knew I couldn't leave

My brother was born and he was the best thing since sliced bread 
I was just a punching bag to dad that kept getting hit in the head 
He stole my innocence something I'll never get back 
My whole life’s been scarred from all the attacks

I was told over and over I wasn't worth a dime 
So I was wanting to die I was just biding for time 
I was forced to grow up with the help of a stick 
Even now when we talk I almost get sick

My mom let this happen so she is as much to blame 
What they did to a Childs spirit that has never been the same 
Many times as a child growing up I dreamed of killing this man 
But I was so scared of this guy and I couldn't come up with a plan

The hatred I feel from what I had lost as a child 
Still haunts me this day and when he suffers I smile 
God please help me and take away the pain from my past 
Because it's killing me slowly and I know I won't last

The pain in my gut when I'm around him is great 
That's probably why I stay so busy and put so much on my plate 
My story goes on and I probably should close 
Oh yeah I forget the SOB almost broke my nose
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