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In the foothills of the Ozarks lived a man named Jed.
He was so poor, and barely kept his family fed.
He struggled to survive and never had quite enough.
The land he lived on was full of thick black gooey stuff.
All he had to do was shoot a bullet in the ground.
It would gush all over the place, always to be found.
Jed lived with his mother-in-law, and his young daughter.
For years, he dwelled in a cabin as a widower.

A man from an oil company made Jed an offer.
Munificently, they were opening their coffer.
They offered money to Jed for his land everywhere.
Jed could not understand why they called him “millionaire”.
Jed told Granny they paid in a new kind of money.
“Million dollars” was a strange term that sounded funny.

They did not understand, so they called his sister Pearl.
She was a backwoods widow, but quite a smart old girl.
Pearl told Jed, “Why land sakes! You are a rich millionaire!
You don’t belong in the hills.  You move away from there!
You take Granny and Ellie, and move to the west.
Beverly Hills, California is the place that’s best.
They’ve got big houses, movie stars, and a thing called “smog”.
I’m not sure what that is, but I think it’s a small hog.”

Jed, Granny, and Ellie got some great terrific luck.
They got Pearl’s son Jethro to load it all on a truck.
Jethro would drive the family across the country,
to that town in the west near LA called Beverly.
Their next-door neighbor would be a banker named Drysdale.
To Jed’s large sum of money, he himself would avail.
Their new surroundings appeared strange to this family.
They found themselves in perpetual calamity.
Everything provided for a funny comedy.

Based on the television show "The Beverly Hillbillies".

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