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i found out the shocking news

i was only 14

but i was pregnant 

three months pregnant at that

people asked how didn't you know you were pregnant

i simply said i was showing no signs

are you scared they would ask

of course I'm scared I'm so young

four months pregnant now

i start having heavy bleeding i get scared and call my mom

she answers

i sob into my phone

mommy i think I'm losing my baby

what, when did you find out you were pregnant

i didn't want to tell you but i found out a month ago 

i go to the hospital

how far along are you

four months can you do anything to help me not lose my baby

the doctor looked at me honey your not losing your baby your just having a period while your pregnant

now five months pregnant

the baby's father and i get into a fight and break up

three weeks later im dating a new guy who wants to help me raise my baby

we are together for two weeks and he goes to florida on a trip

comes back and i find out he cheated on me

i forgive him

he broke up with me two weeks later saying he doesn't think that he can handle being a dad at 17

now six months pregnant

i am scared and alone not sure if even i can handle being a mom

its a common concern since im only 15

the baby is growing healthy

i ponder whether or not to give the baby up

now seven months pregnant

me and the baby's father are back together and engaged

we decide we will keep the baby and move in together

for once we think we have things figured out

now eight months pregnant 

i go to my weekly ultrasound

first week is fine

week two rolls around

i go and have my ultrasound

they tell me my baby is dead his umbilical cord strangled him

the admit me to the hospital

induce my labor

i give birth to a 5lb 2 oz 12inch long still born

he is the most beautiful baby i have ever seen

my boyfriend and i ask ourselves why us

we both are so young me being 15 him being 18

we both blame ourselves

fall into a deep dark depression

both decide life wasn't worth living with out Xavier

our attempt were just that attempt

how ever eight months later we are glad it didn't i am now 16 and married

we are so happy and want to try to have kids in the future

we hope and pray we won't have to goo through that every again
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