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Muted shyness

A failures frown and a sunken smile written across my face
My uncomfortable eyes and suspicious looks darting all around

I try to hide these tremoring hands and tapping feet
My racing heart and shallow breath are easier to disguise

Contradicting mind, thoughts accelerate yet no words make sound,
Just an outer shell muted by this curse
An extravert inside of me which doesn’t allow the world to see

Judgemental feelings, am I weak?
Every thought to speak overwhelms me,
Each sentence and word combine they mix and form to one
A senseless mould of comprehension which appears and then it’s gone

Fear of embarrassment and rejection is now a rule, a belief imprinted in my soul
Looked upon with fear, aggression or pity

It’s holding him back I hear them say, believing I am not seen as I am not heard
Furious that they say these things, it only makes it worse

Given time and no issue made, I will show you who I am
For I am, I’m me

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