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Dear Miss Monkey Manners, I’m in need of your advice,
My boyfriend is a swinger and he isn’t very nice.
I’m a Proboscis Monkey so I exhibit a very prominent schnoz.
And the proposition that he put to me caused me to take pause.
He said that I’d make a perfect mate if I’d under go a tweak,
He wants me to go under the knife and get a larger beak.
But the nose that I was born with is my pride and joy,
And I really don’t want to change it especially for a boy.
He tells me that he loves me and that he’d immediately propose,
If only I would agree to see a doctor and get a bigger nose.

My Dear Gentle Nosey Nelly here’s the reply to your query,
I’m afraid that your boyfriend doesn’t see you very clearly.
If he did I am sure that he would see you as more than just a nose,
There is much more to a woman than the parts that she’ll expose.
So if he hasn’t figured out that what’s important is your heart,
Don’t let yourself be persuaded by him to change your body part.
Unless altering your looks will somehow bring you satisfaction,
Because his view of perfection is nothing more than an abstraction.
Be happy with who you are, a proud Proboscis monkey,
Just make sure whatever you do you don’t let yourself get chunky.

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