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A note to my Beloved

My dear, thank you for your care and for your love, 
And for been there for me
But It’s so painful for me to admit this mood and 
Thoughts in me and moreover, 
Write these mean words to you, 
Since displeased with how I'm feeling now. 

My feelings do not lie, yet
I do not know how you will feel when you read this note 
But I need to reveal the way I am feeling to you, 
So you can think alongside me
And maybe accept me for who I am 
And not because of what I can do. 

I have thought about it many times 
And I feel I should let you be aware 
Of what is going on in my mind
Because if I do not expose it now, 
One way my behavior might reflect it, 
Another way I may accuse you of it, 

Then too late to correct the 
Emotional trauma it may cause
But if we choose to reason together
And handle it maturely and not make it personal
We may come up with reasonable result
Just feel my pains with me

Since I have met you
It’s a shameful feeling for me, 
As a man, that I cannot even afford to assist 
You financially or give you a gift 
On your Birthdays, even on this Valentine’s Day 
And on many occasions that warrant it

Equally as a man I am ashamed of my self 
Indeed I am loosing my self-confidence
Except I am pretending over what is not
Just make your choice because I'm jobless at moment

You know my soothing words are not enough 
To build you a home talk-less to marry you
Let’s be realistic and please, reason with me. 
Please think about it and consider it carefully  

I don’t want to feel as if I am enslaving you
Or think as if I am forcing you to remain with me
I am of the opinion that you may consider other suitors 
Instead of waiting endlessly for me as your suitor
Since I cannot afford to take care of you

I know you also may have thought about it
If I could really take care of you 
If we get married, or is it not so? 
You can correct me if am wrong
As you know time fly
So that you can move on with your life
It is courage on my part to admit my pride

Maybe we are meant to care for each other. 
I love you deeply from my heart, this you know. 
That is why I am releasing you for the sake of love
To accept other suitors love for you

But if you feel, you can choose to wait 
And endure the sufferings with me
Till when God knows 
Make your choice and decide
I will always love you because you are My Precious
I will always remember you for your love My Princess
All I desire is to see the best of you for the rest of your life
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