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I created a time machine
Because I have a sacred vision
To abort Augustus Caesar
Is my life's holy mission
His dogmas concerning marriage
And procreation for the state
Precursor to that religion of empire
I will personally eliminate

Back to forty four BC
With my trusty sniper rifle
Crosshairs on Julius Caesar
Then behind him just a trifle
A young blond-haired lad
His face as familiar as statue
I pull the trigger with purpose
Time takes a new avenue

This founder of Western Civilization
Lies dying on this date
Julius Caesar now holds the boy
I also know his coming fate
Feeling justified in my actions
I prepare for my return
Laughing, don't worry about Brutus
And from this century I adjourn

Back to the future
Feeling overwhelmingly inspired
I can't wait to see a timeline
That had no Roman Empire
I begin looking around
Everything looks about the same
Except now I think in German
And women are wearing war paint

Then it hits me like a ton
No historic suppression of women
Not only are they smarter
They're also the dominant specimens
Some approach me with interest
Looking at me rather coy
Then they rip off all my clothes
And use me like a sex toy

That time machine is paying off
I think I like this world
Then I notice to my amazement
It's being videoed by one girl
Straight to the internet
The exploitation of men
Attention girls gone wild, I chuckle
You ever heard of sin?

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