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“We’ll need to get him good and drunk, 
So then we can have our way. 
As a Sheila he’ll go in the trunk, 
Then we’ll put him on display.” 

Sam had his sister’s evening gown, 
And a pair of high heeled shoes, 
A stunning rhinestone tiara crown, 
And a pocket book of Sue’s. 

We’ll need to find a place somewhere, 
Where we can trick him into drinkin’. 
Then we’ll strip him of his underwear, 
And teach him a thing fair dinkum. 

Just then my truck hit a rut, 
And the crate flew in the air. 
My left wheel lost a single nut 
But it only started with a pair. 

We drove on for a little way 
Until the axle snapped in two. 
We watched our cargo hop away 
What a lucky kangaroo. 

Under the truck I went just to get a peek, 
To see if we were even in the game. 
That’s when I spotted the petrol leak 
And the whole thing went up in flame. 

Sam pulled me out and stripped me bare, 
‘Cause my clothes were all on fire. 
My arse was barbied medium rare 
By my smoldering attire. 

Sam wrapped his hand with his own shirt, 
Then he opened up the door. 
He bravely made a grab for the skirt, 
Because that’s what friends are for. 

We were lost out in the outback 
Stuck up the proverbial gum tree. 
The sun gave us a blistering attack,
Because we were dressed like Aborigine.

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