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Hola, Spain, Would You Take Florida Back? By Elton Camp From the time of its first sight Florida was sure no delight Sand and bugs and way too hot Is just about all that place’s got Ponce de Leon learned the truth That it has no fountain of youth “Florida is ours,” Spain did say Till Andy Jackson took it away He didn’t know what he was gettin’ For most use it wasn’t very fittin’ Mainly what Florida became about A place for rogue Indians to hide out Dangerous swamp, mosquito and snake It was more than most people could take But then came the Florida land boom “Buy down here and have some room.” Many folks did what shouldn’t oughter And bought land that really under water When truth came out and the value fell It put northern suckers into economic hell Now we come to what Florida is today A place where millions have come to stay To drink yucky water with a yellow stink And of disaster to live right on the brink Above sea level they’re about six feet A hurricane comes and they are beat If a tsunami should happen to arrive It could be that few would survive Property values have dropped so low That many people had to pack up and go They couldn’t sell for half what they paid Though a few years ago, they had it made Even a house that’s underwater is no steal When it easily could be underwater for real Who wants, when they try to go outside To find an alligator from which to hide When the ocean level will finally rise, Those near the shore will get a surprise If Spain wants old folks with leathery skin Taking back Florida’s a good place to begin
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