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Making a Burglar Happy By Elton Camp Have a flimsy lock on the exterior door Those types all burglars simply adore Let shrubbery grow up high and thick Such hiding places will sure do the trick Leave privacy fence gate not secure Place to work where he won’t appear Keep unlocked door from garage to house Then he robber can enter quiet as a mouse Windows are the easiest place to get in Leave them unlocked and he will grin Outside a door key be sure that you hide So the burglar will very soon be inside A note that you’re gone and when back Will keep the thief on the right track Your name outside be sure that you display He can then look up your phone that way If there is nobody who answers the phone Then the burglar knows for sure you’re gone And if your answering machine is all set Saying your’re on vacation it’s his best bet A vicious dog neither keep nor claim Make the robber so glad that he came At your house have no exterior lights In this the burglar certainly delights Let mail continue to pile up at your door Allow newspaper delivery just as before Don’t ask a neighbor to keep an eye out So he won’t spot a suspicious person about So it you all these things in just this very way, The burglar will thank you for making his day
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