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JOCK     AND     HIS     DOG

Once knew a Scottish dancing geezer
Accidentally locked his dog in the freezer:
Seems the animal had just spilt
Some curds and  milk all over his kilt:
Must have soaked right through  his sporran.
(The dog of course was foreign .)
No Scots dog would do such a thing
As spill stuff mid a highland fling.
As  Jock  took stock of his tartan man-frock
The whole episode had been such a shock
The door of the freezer shut  itself slam  -
The dog was locked in with the ice cream and ham. 
Oh but the key couldn’t be found,
Though Jock looked all around  on the ground.
Turned out the dog had the key in his teeth  -
He’d stolen it from the sporran sheath.
Poor dog  got real cold till the police came,
Opened the freezer  and on Jock placed blame.
But the dog hadn’t really suffered so  cruel;
He’d eaten  all the ice cream as fuel.
And the kilt was no worse for wear. . . . 
But Jock’s sporran had lost all its hair.

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