Email Poem

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Personal Note:
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Poem
Why do you tell me what you think I want to hear?
Why do you keep me hanging on...
So long after you have gone... 
Knowing my heart will only continue to break,
As it has done for all this time we've been apart?

I am unable to move on; 
To forget the past, 
To start anew...
Because when I see you or hear your voice 
It is still so clear to me that you should be mine.

My love at times has gone into hibernation; 
Sleeping so peacefully, I can almost forget it is there.
I may find a brief interlude or distraction
Which, however sweet at the time, only postpones the inevitable...
As I will eventually awaken, missing you and loving you all the more. 

How can two people be so close, even now, yet not touch? 
You have invaded every part of me, even my soul. 
I still remember those days in the not too distant past, 
When we shared each others' dreams and hopes...
Joys and sorrows...bodies and beds...

If only you would just tell me to go...maybe I could.
To hear those devastating words come across your lips 
May be my only hope of a life not being held prisoner, doomed to hopeless pain.
The words you speak could be the key that unlocks this hold you have on me;
To the cell that holds me captive. 

Maybe then, the truth would set me free. 
That truth being, you don't want me...and we will never be together again...
Not in THAT way...the way we used to be. 
For all you feel for me now is the love of a friend;
The closeness of having shared so much, for so long. 

Why then, do you tell me you are not happy? 
You made your choice. You moved on, found another, married her.
Why do we constantly run into each other? Am I to believe it is Fate,
Thumbing it's nose at us for not following through with God's plan? 
Or is that same Fate setting our paths again on that previously unachieved 
destination? 

Stop telling me you still care, that you are with the wrong person, that you miss me.
To do so only gives me a firmer grip on that thread I'm holding onto and holding on 
by...
For as much as I want to hold on...
Even more, I need to let go. 
So, just once, tell me what I DON'T want to hear. I beg of you.
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