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Spinning, twirling, jumping, hopping
Sliding,  bouncing there’s no stopping
Crank the music, blast those speakers
Gonna break in my brand new sneakers

Nike and Adidas are both the same
A perfect fit, or so they claim
Tried them on and yelled in pain
Used the lords name in vain

Nothing like a new pair of shoes
To give your feet the blister blues
Pinching and squeezing your toes so tight
Your dawgs will scream with all their might

Now I walk like such a geek
People laugh and call me freak
Let me tell you what ain’t cool
Hobbling ‘round like a drunken fool

Wouldn’t it be so very sweet
To buy new shoes that fit your feet
A hundred bucks, and for what?
Shoes that wrecked my normal strut

Heed my warning and take my advice
Great shoes come at a minimal price
The salvation army is where you begin
They have plenty of shoes already broke in

But if you are embarrassed by stores of thrift
My secret to you I give as a gift
You’ll never be labeled a trailer trash hag
If you carry your items in a Nordstroms bag

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