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Incredible Product Warnings

By Elton Camp

Far from folly this hair dry warning is keeping
In telling snoozers, “Do not use while sleeping”

Thinking of putting a curl in your colon or tongue? 
“For external use only,” on curling iron is hung

This most would know, you certainly would think:
On toilet:  “Recycled flush water is unsafe to drink.”

If anyone did, the result would give dentists a thrill
“Electric rotary tool is not for use as a dental drill.”

A 13-inch wheelbarrow wheel this caution did produce:
Buyers were firmly told, “Not intended for highway use”

Anyone one who does this would probably be a goner:
Note on a laser printer cartridge:  “Do not eat toner.”

And it was on a coffee cup this warning we did spot:
It so clearly stated, “Caution:  Hot beverages are hot”

On a Frisbee the following warning we did see:
“Warning: May contain small parts.”  Can it be?

If to clean your teeth, you happen to be in a rush,
“Do not use orally,” we once saw on a toilet brush

To do nothing at all with it is all that you can choose:
On battery:  “Do not recharge, put in backward or use”

And just in case you previously did this unwisely try,
Is said:  “Do not look into laser with remaining eye”

Disregard this warning and quite bad results you get:
In microwave manual:  “Do not use for drying pet.”

For just one single use the maker does give the nod
“For use on animals only,” is written of a cattle prod

“For use by trained personnel only” the warning note
On a can of air freshener someone very plainly wrote

Sign on a Boeing 757 much careless handling does stop:
Gives the necessary warning as “Fragile.  Do not drop”

Thinking of putting your kid away for rest of the day:
“Remove infant before folding” baby stroller does say

And then whether they are used for days or for nights:
“For indoor or outdoor use only,” on Christmas lights

On child’s Superman costume this warning we did spy:
“Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly”

To already know, surely most would have gumption
On a package of dice:  “Not for human consumption”

“Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand”
Its need on a chainsaw is pretty hard to understand

“May be harmful if swallowed” the caution read
Of a shipment of hammers, though, it was said

Since such a thing almost nobody would have expected,
“Warning:  May contain nuts” for peanut bag was selected
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