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Spinning the Resort

By Elton Camp

For guests the resort does advertise
So it will be desirable in their eyes

Since the building is old and run down:
“Located in the historical part of town”

The heat and air don’t work very well:
“About the local climate you will tell”

Grounds are shabby and grass knee-high:
“From your room, untamed wilderness spy”

Windows are loose and some are cracked:
“For our hotel, ventilation has never lacked”

All the hotel furniture is faded and worn:
“Antique items from before you were born”

Plumbing is defective with leaks and all:
“As you sleep, you’ll hear the water fall”

We have no phones, television or Internet:
“The most peaceful vacation you can get”

Nowhere will guests an elevator ever see:
“Exercise is always provided to you free”

With so few guests, the daily rate is large:
“You will be astonished at what we charge”

Since the dining room grub isn’t fit to eat:
“Our cuisine, weight loss will complete”

Because nobody returns for a second stay:
“Bustling crowds will never cause dismay”

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