Email Poem

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Poem

Mother let me tell you
what no one ever knew
the secrets on this page
I dout God has a clue
for if you see through my eyes
what daddy did was nothing
you were all I had left
why did you think i was bluffing

It wasn't a joke mommy
I tried, I cried and I cut myself
I even begged for you to get me help
and you had no idea?
How could that be
mommy I told you everything
How dare you lie to me!

I lived with my self hate
and daddy got off
what didn't you get?
I always looked lost
I locked my door 
and I screamed I hate him
but all you did was say
You can't escape him!
Well mommy I could always say
you'll never know me better that way
you'll never see the innocent me
it was taken, shaken and re-made
in a whole new way
this poem is about you mommy
things I don't have the guts to say

Honestly mommy I don't know 
what hurts more
looking in your eyes 
as you called me a WHORE
for I didn't do it
I didn't dress wrong?
I just wanted a daddy
thats why it hurt all along
Mommy but you hurt me
most of all
you never trusted me
Even after telling you
mommy should daddy 
haved'lusted' me?
but you didn't listen 
and I had to cope with the shame
cutting myself everytime I got away
and creating a whole new name
a facade and a wall 
I put around myself

I told you for years
"Mommy, I need help,
I hate myself, I can't live this way,
mommy what daddy does,
I don't think I could say.
It hurts to look at the man 
I am supposed to trust
My daddy how dare he Lust?"
But all you did was say
do as he says
I begegd and pleaded
But you'd just shake your head.

And now mommy it's to late
I'd glady rather be DEAD
I lost the little girl 
That i use to be
everything inside
has died and I am just not me
so I gess the stranger 
that I now see
is a broken child
that could neve just BE.

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