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In Defense of the Witch of the West

By Elton Camp

In her, nobody sees any good
But maybe they really should.
Cut some slack for the poor old soul
Criticized for what’s not in her control.

A good place to begin 
Is the color of her skin.
Who of us can rightly say
Why it’s green that way?

Shame on all of those
Who ridicule her nose.
It is a most terrible creature 
Who mocks a physical feature

Is it some kind of sin
To have a pointed chin?
A wart on the face
Is not a big disgrace

No use her to be urging
To see a plastic surgeon.
Maybe she likes her looks just fine.
If so, then why should others mind?

But it is only fair to say
She needs a new couturier.
Styling sense she does lack
Always wearing basic black

Seems no good reason that
She must wear a pointy hat.
It would be wrong not to confess
More like Glinda she should dress.

And it couldn’t be much trouble
Instead of a broom, ride a bubble
She is seldom held to be a dear
Because of how she does appear

But does it actually seem to be fair
For such things, title “Wicked” bear?
The day that most of us would rue
If not judged mainly by what we do.

Partners in Dorothy's crime came to be
Scarecrow, Tin Man, Lion—an evil three
The witch could no longer show pity 
As they came near to Emerald City

When before the Wizard they did stand
He made the most dire and cruel demand
To get my help, you must pass this test: 
Get the broom of the Witch of the West

Dorothy was the first to admit
Try that and she will have a fit.
But we will go there and try.
So what if witch has to die?

So with murder in her evil heart,
Toward the castle she did depart
Witch of the west we must commend
Since her domain she tried to defend

Undeterred, the four continued to hassle
The woman in her home, her own castle.
In most dire treachery Dorothy then dealt
She threw water and caused her to melt.

Maybe it was an accident, but still
It was second person she did kill.
It is surely a totally safe bet
The murders she didn’t regret

Witch’s servants whom she gave jobs
Laughed at her death rather than sobs.
The poor witch had lived much alone
Then all rejoiced when she was gone.
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