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I SHUDDER TO  THINK 

I  shudder to think about the way 
Some  vegetables are  abused every day -
With physical  and psychological  slights
In gross violation of their vegetable rights.

Handicapped vegetables  have no chance to fight back
Like eyeless potatoes  -  poor blind   mites,
And baby carrots ,  aaw!   Or peas-in-a-pod, 
Eaten before they’re even born and take a breath.
Imagine those frantic runnerbeans 
Desperately trying  to escape. 

No surprise that  peas are strained.
My over-tired mum used to say, “Oh, I’m shredded.”
So I understand how tired  shredded-cabbage must feel. 

What about the potatoes who diced with death and lost? 
Jerusalem  Artichokes   -  “chokes” is horrible!
Why not   “Jerusalem Passes Aways” ?
And  ”Squash” !  -  Please speak more politely: 
What a way to go  -  we should say   “Press Lightly”.    
 
No wonder some clean-living  veg are angry :
Parsnip  -  an  angry snip from  parson or clergy; 
Swede  resembling  a tall blond person, Stockholm based; 
With  horrid ethnic  humour ( bad taste) 
Like   sauerkraut (also bad taste)
(So-called humour about a surly  German).
Look at insults basd on vegetables for a human  -
“The IQ of a cabbage.”   What ethnicity insults !
I’m sorry for tomatoes - all this veg talk results
In them being called a  vegetable dish
It’s like calling Scots people English.
Sheer vegetable racism is the worst.  Mixed potato and carrot salad?  
Not in apartheid South Africa – their salad had to be  pallid.

Oh yes some veg are spoiled like children :
Coddled  cauliflower warmed in milk ; then	
Brazed  egg-plants (please call snobby ones aubergines)
Suntanned slowly at their leisure;
And butter (not margarine) beans  cooked with pleasure.

It’s too horrible entirely, the abuse is complete
I’ll stop being vegetarian, and start eating meat.
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