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Norman Bates Tells His Story

By Elton Camp

Nobody seems to care about the fix I’m in,
So it’s time the true story of my life to spin.
I’ve had no father ever since I was a little child.
Reared by a mother who’d drive anyone wild.

“You have to do anything I tell you to.
Any disobedience you will come to rue.”
She said it would bring a life of strife 
If I ever dated or dared to take a wife

“A boy’s mother is his only true friend.
If you forget that, my life you will end.”
And so since didn’t want her to be gone
I obeyed her and grew up so much alone.

By her rules for me, she didn’t abide.
And then a second marriage she tried.
Her new mate made my life a living hell.
And then he spent her money on a motel.

“Norman will do all the work,” he said.
“Clean room showers and make the bed.”
The motel made bushels of money at first.
Then what happened was about the worst.

A highway was built to by-pass the town.
Then only a few travelers did come around.
The lack of customers made him get mean.
“Lazy Norman doesn’t keep the rooms clean.”

My Mother backed up his talk so tough
Until I finally had heard quite enough.
I decided what it was I had to do
Quickly, quietly I did kill those two.

But afterward, I felt much like a louse
And pretended she was still in the house.
I found that it made me feel better,
When I imitate her voice to the letter.  

When a pretty girl took a room for the night,
I found that put me in a state of pure delight.
If she gave any encouragement to me,
The face of my mother I began to see.

“Norman!  That girl is just a whore.
Why did you let her come in the door?”
My mother’s words I just had to obey.
To remain alive I couldn’t let her stay.

Nobody will know she was ever here
I dump her into the swamp so near.
I did that very way, time after time
Till it didn’t seem much like a crime.

The day finally came. Luck ran out.
The sheriff took me in with a shout.
“Norman, I’ve learned about your sin.
Now be prepared, prison time to begin.”

The psychiatrist found out it wasn’t me.
But that Mother did the murders, you see.
While I was wearing a wig and a dress,
To those horrors my Mother did confess.
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