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But this is not for me to judge... for you. It is most certainly, just for me, to judge, alone, for myself, with Him. I feel Him now, don't you? I am open to what you would deem. I am not God. Don't wish to be. Don't want the responsibility... . Can't... could not handle it... ! I will say that I have known more of the "GREAT" heckler than of God. I am still learning of God. How open He truly is to me, this world... . The Bible? I believe it is the point of it. Jesus I believe He died so the door would not be closed to this, so we could all abide in peace, with Him, forever remaining open to this. I love your honesty friend, your courage, your faith in yourself. I pose the question to you. I know I did not create myself. My confusion, hate, closed mindedness alone. I doubt it that you did either, having known, felt it, if you have, if... . Friend... . Being open, having offered me a choice, "my freedom of this" my will. I feel their is but only one choice, to remain open to the idea that someone did. Something that is greater than me obviously, all of us... this world, universe... . Trophy's are airy I believe. Though they do bring about a certain openness, and affirmation. "Popularity" this form of wealth, in the end, in my death, will it save me? I feel not. I hope, truly, that there is someone who can, will... . Something else. I am open to this friend. I would know it, Him, as God. I just am working, banking on it until then. I figure that this is faith. I have felt, seen so many things about the world, about it me, within. It is so intriguing to me. I truly can see it as nothing else, today... . Your courage! Your worship! Your faith! It cannot be called friend any other thing I believe. Had to come from somewhere, why not from Him... ? There was an experiment somewhere I believe one time that I have heard of. Though it may seem to be cruel. It proved to me a point. To babies were born, set up for this study. One was touched, held talked to a lot taught things about life kept close, warm. Grew by leaps and bounds in relatively, actually great health... . The other was not. it was sickly... . Well it passed on, quite early. Frustrated probably. Such is it I feel to be abandoned, left, and kept caged within. It leads I believe to a certain emptiness. A lovelessness, genuine need for something other, than what it was dealt. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xLdpM01inM&feature=related
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