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~Life Is Not a Fairy Tale~

I am finally beginning to realize
I have lived forever mesmerized
By keeping myself well disguised
And leaving my mind paralyzed

I had built my walls to hide behind
From you and me and all mankind
Somewhere deep inside my mind
Someplace no one else could find

I made the world a refrigerator
A constantly complaining procrastinator
I was also a hair-triggered detonator
Who became a social assassinator

Now I'm trying harder not to pout
So little by little I’m breaking out
Breaking out of my mental shell
Breaking out of my mental hell

I’m beginning to learn how to exhale
And put some wind into my sail
The time has come to tip the scale
For life is not a fairy tale
**************************************************

This poem says a lot to me today although I wrote it nearly 13 years ago. When my friend committed suicide on Nov 19, 1993, I began writing poetry shortly afterward. Bill suffered from depression and at times would not stay
in control of that. He went to the bar and got very drunk that night when Bill took his life, so that subject was always a question in my mind.
Would he be dead today if he hadn't gotten intoxicated that night?
This question had me looking a lot at my own life and this poem reflects that.
It is from the pages of my second book
Book 2 ©1996 "The Journey Ahead or Behind"
God Bless and Best Wishes to You All...Peace 
Peace~
James

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