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I had to dog-sit for my neighbor Ed,
A week I had to watch his miserable purebred,
And his list of rules were plaguing my head,
I hung on every small word that he said,
How “Baron” must be watered and fed,
Or else his precious puppy might just drop dead,
At one o’clock precisely I gave him his med,
With a wine soaked piece of banana nut bread,
Paying close attention to the rules that I read,
“He sleeps with me but you’ll do in my stead,
He likes to snuggle with me on the bed”,
 And let me tell you this damn dog shed,
The brown bed I looked at used to be red,
I slipped into the next room’s top bunk bed,
The next morning’s debacle still brings me dread,
There were things on the floor, better left unsaid,
A popped ball and a toy that was little more than shreds,
Of my sneakers all that was left was the tread,
My scarf hung down from the fan overhead,
There must have been something on the list I misread,
Cause nothing about an insane dog was said,
That tears up everything thread by thread,
And from that miserable house I fled,
And to my parents I pled and pled,
“Don’t make me go back, that mutt is brain-dead”
“Can’t we just tie him outside instead”
They replied only if I asked Mr. Ed,
And he refused to give me that go ahead,
His puppy would be burned by infrared,
The panic I felt was definitely widespread,
Stuck with his miserable rules in my head,
Silently wishing his mutt would drop dead,
So I could sleep alone in my own bed,
And not have to worry about rules being misread!

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