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One day I heard a knock Or more a rapid tap upon my door. It brought me not acute alarm, For it was noonday by the clock And noontime rarely brings one harm, So with my midday tea I crossed the floor. I took a cautious look, Through entryway devices in the wall Known only by my spouse and I And were well hidden in the nook Where unseen eyes allow no lie From ill-willed strangers who might choose to call. When I peeked out this day I gazed upon a rather portly man Of middle years and fine attire. A well bred man one then could say But said today they'd be a liar; No "well bred man" this man of darker plan! I opened wide my door of oak Which as it hung weighed over half a ton. But physics did allow that weight And we've had not a single bloke To realign the door to this estate; When intellect's applied the job gets done. This stranger stiffened straight Then from his waist he gave a courtly bow. I smiled at him and said "come in" And little did he hesitate Before his rotund body pushed within Without a pause or cause to disallow. I turned to see his rear Still moving deeper through my sacred place. I heard myself let loose a shout Which was a shout no doubt of fear Of what this stranger was about And why this rude intrusion of my space?
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