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i felt He wasn`t listening when i knelt beside my bed before i laid down on my pillow the days cares filled my head why did that have to happen? i`m a good person why? there on my knees that night i felt that i might cry i do unto others as i`d like to have done why all this fear and worry i`ve not hurt anyone my stomach knotted my tears fell i thought my heart might break what else do you want of me? what else can i take? this is all too many burdens for me help me understand why all this must be crying all in then i sank upon the floor please dear Jesus i don`t think i can handle anymore i`ll let go of this soon i promise to give it to you if you`ll just explain why? and what am i to do? was i such a child in Him in my house in my room right there and then my whole life changed in a flash of light He was kneeling in prayer in Gethsemane that night He was asking questions too one i`d just asked of Him He was to be crucified a final sacrifice for sin He`d asked His disciples to watch with Him and stay but they fell asleep too tired to kneel with Him and pray i heard myself quetioning Him why would you do this give your life for my sin? "I LOVE YOU DEAR SO MUCH" my precious savior explained "i`m dying for the world to make white the blackest sin i`m sacrificing my life no greater love than this to lie down life for another life for death my gift" then i clearly understood He took the cross in my place while i`d been whining His holy blood fell as sweat upon His face i woke like from a dream i`ll not lose dreams awful sight i realized with great shame my day had been alright i prayed a new prayer of thanksgiving for loving me so unselfishly i pray all hearts open to the love of God God`s love waits patiently He could have chosen not to die that day on calvarys hill He did ask to be delivered but surrendered to His Fathers will now i count it all joy when troubles come my way i kneel beside my bed each night and with a thankful heart i pray
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