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The rain fell for what seemed like years The very ground turned into a river The sound that the rushing water made Would even make a grown man shiver We were up on the roof of the house Trying to get someone's attention We felt trapped, like mice in a cage Or prisoners locked in detention Okay, enough of the doom and gloom It's time to turn this story around So now I'll tell you what really happened When we finally got back on the ground You see, I told my wife and children That I, "Im talking about me", would save the day So I jumped on the back of a floating cow While I was feeding the heifer some hay I'll bet you didn't know that cows can swim Well, maybe they can't, but this is my tale I grabbed an old bedsheet from off of the line And I fashioned it into a sail Then I positioned the cow close to the house And my family jumped on top of her back And when we were ready to moooo-ve I simply just gave her a whack Well, this cow was filled with plenty of fuel Cause I was feeding her plenty of oats You've heard the stories about cows having gas Which makes for an excellent motor boat To make a long story short I, "still talking about me" Saved the day, on the back of a stinky old cow Next time I'll tell you the story About the time I was riding a sow
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