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Artificial pairings forced friendships and barriers of language, but seemed harmless, and without knowing me painted letters in tidy rows words on scented sheets signed with love and read in secret. Mother could be so distant she must have known love once waiting with a case of clothes strange faces and writing books no drawn out farewells or take cares I went to school Empty words and promises long vacations surrounded by mountains the song filled valleys I made home with broken phone calls, no dreams just pregnant pauses and nothing but Nain would hold me. I remember packing trunks and boxes, skirts and blazers of dark blue no handkerchiefs for crying tears hidden behind the closet door I had nothing to say. The years have wandered past now and love has found its own way my heart once broken remains strong beneath a distant smile I have learned to keep my secrets with phone calls that never come. I still wonder if those old friends hid their secrets beneath the pillow before their voices judged me with venom to strip my heart as they turned and walked away.
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