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Poem

A guilty secret kept within,
Hurt but show no pain.
Losing out to someone else,
Carry on the game.

Trying all to make things right,
Neglecting all i wish.
Taking risks in pleasing others ,
Passing what i miss.

Saying inside i just dont care,
Knowing that i do.
Why do i have to feel so much,
So much more than you.

If only i had answers to the questions in my head,
In hindsight i would change so many things that i have said.

I sit here slowly getting drunk,
Do i really give a damn ?
The problem is i know i do,
Before i would of ran.

"Just live life from day to day" i tell to those that ask,
A hypocrite is what i am,
A man within a mask.

You read these words with sympathy and look at me with pain,
Thinking you relate to me ,
But no one is the same.

Everyone has had their hurt,
Dont think i cannot see.
All these feelings in my soul,
Its here i hate to be.

All i long for,
All i want ,
Is a day when i can smile.
Close my eyes contented,
All is right for all the while.

I know inside this day will come,
In later life or near.
Everyday im waiting,
Every setback building fear.

I long to talk with someone who i know will understand,
But i dont think such a person can exist in all the land.

I sometimes glimpse a happiness ive had,
But not the same.
The happiness im longing for to take away my pain.

All the times i've given in and felt nothing but rain,
I know one day i'll get there,
For now i'll carry on the game.

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