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Hi. My name is Daniel, and this is the guide on how to injure yourself severely in traffic. First, 
you must make a decision. Do you want to use a vehicle or walk? (Insert Decision) Okay, 
now (if you are using a car) get on to the main highway. QUICK! HIT THE BREAKS! I told you 
so! What is wrong with you? Why didn't you follow my directions. I just told you to hit the 
breaks, I did'nt tell you to stop. Geeze. Okay, lets start over. Get on to the main highway. 
Good. Now, continue on for about three miles. OH MY GOD! DEER! LOOK OUT! LOOK OUT! 
What is your deal, man? i told you to look out. Did I say stop? I don't think the deer was in 
the middle of the road. God, what is up with you? Are you drunk? You know you should not 
drink and drive. Okay, lets get out of this ditch. You are never gonna get your license like 
this. Who taught you how to drive? Oh, I did. Whoops. Okay, now that that's over, continue 
on for the next three miles. OH MY GOD! ARMAGEDDON! (You run off the road). Get out of 
the car! What is the matter with you? Can't you see that it is not the actual thing? Do you see 
a meteor falling out of the sky? God! Armageddon is a movie! I just saw the poster for the 
movie! Well, now that we are BOTH injured, I guess its safe to say that you got your money's 
worth. Stay tuned for my next book: How To Injure Yourself While Unclogging A Toilet. only 
$15.99, coming to stores this Christmas.

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