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What More Can Be Taken

I came from a house where love never stayed,
Where fists did the talking and kindness decayed.
Where silence was safer than saying a word,
And a child’s small heartbreak was never once heard.

I ran to the bottle, to smoke and to fire,
Chased numbness like peace, sank deep in the vile.
Got locked in a cage for the sins I had known
Iron doors felt kinder than being alone.

But I fought for my breath, for a life I could claim,
Clawed out of the wreckage, let go of the shame.
I got clean, stayed sober, built something true A family, a home, a version of new.

I thought I had made it, I dared to feel proud,
Stood tall in the daylight, away from the cloud.
But love turned again with a cold, cruel grin
She shattered our vows and let strangers walk in.

Each betrayal cut deeper than anything prior, she
Lit matches again I was on the edge of the fire

Then came the call, like a punch to the face,
My nephew my blood had Been erased 
A gun, a goodbye, a silence too wide
Now part of me left when he chose to die.

I held his small hands when he first learned to stand.
Now I hold just the air, and the ache in my hands.
No answers, no peace, just a voice in my head Why him? Why now? Why not me instead?

Now I’m lost again, like a boat with no shore,
Don’t know what I’m hoping or fighting for.
The light that once warmed me feels foreign and thin,
Like it touches the world but won’t let me in.

But still I am breathing, somehow, some way,
Still walking through fire at the edge of each day.
I’ve died in small pieces and lived through the cost
So don’t call me weak just because Im lost.

If there’s meaning in madness, or peace after pain,
I haven’t found it but I stand in the rain.
With scars for my armor, and grief as my guide,
I carry the names of the ones who have died.

And maybe I break, or maybe I bend, or maybe this is the chapter where my story will end
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