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Poem

Grief has made my world darker for a time
I have lost a huge part of my family,
someone who left this world way too early
I have felt some guilt about not being about
not being able to stop it
I have felt overwhelmed by the strong emotions
that such a loss entails
and the world has felt so much less beautiful
without my beloved Josh in it

But God has held me close in his arms
and sent friends and family to me,
when I thought I would drown 
in my own sorrow

God has given me words to write and express
the pain and sorrow that I have felt
that I could not express orally
I could literally not form sentences
to say what I have been able to write
I think that has helped me so much,
to be able to get the pain from my heart 
onto the page

I have attempted to write every day for a month
and I did not succeed, but being able
to write at all is a HUGE accomplishment
I WILL not beat myself up for not doing it every
day, I WILL be grateful that I have this outlet when
there have been times in the past that grief has
dried up my words and I was not able to write at all

Poetry is a lovely part of my life, but my poetry
has not been lovely lately, it has been raw and 
emotional and full of pain and loss
but it has calmed my soul and heart in a way
that nothing else has
I am grateful for poetry in my life
I am grateful for people following my painful journey
by reading my poetry
and I am grateful for everyone in my life
who has reached out to help me in my 
time of sorrow
Most of all, I am grateful that I have faith
and I am surrounded by people that love me
and most of all God’s love and care
that has kept me breathing, living, and writing

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