Email Poem

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"I hate you."
I try to pour all the hate my heart can hold
to say it again, a little louder:
"You must allow me to tell you
how ardently I hate you."

I’ve never spoken to you once—
not even looked at you for a full minute.
Still, I can't get your face out of my head.

What, what exactly did I do to you
for you to haunt me like this, nonstop?

I hate you for stealing
the quiet peace inside my head—
with your stoic walk and pretty face.

I hate you for making me smile
when that smile should only be yours,
and for filling my heart with sorrow
when it should belong to you alone.

I hate myself for hoping
you succeed no matter what.
Your happiness and comfort
light up my heart,
and I hate you for that.

I wish you knew you had a hater—
one who hates you with such passion.
Yet here I am,
wishing all your worries would disappear.

I hate myself for failing—
failing to gather all that hate
and failing to throw it in your face.

Why? Why can’t I?
I try—I swear I try 
but somehow
I end up wondering how,
how it would be
to drag my hands
across that pretty head of yours.

And I want to hate you for that.
God, I want to.

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